I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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