Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
