Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
