coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
