Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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