There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
