I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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