How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
