Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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