he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
