Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
