More tranny stories later!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
