just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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