its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
