He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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