I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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