i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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