maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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