I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
