my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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