fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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