im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
