Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
