this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
