i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize