he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
