Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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