her vagine was all disorganized.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
