24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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