Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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