Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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