never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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