Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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