i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
