I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
