everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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