We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
