kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
