ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
