Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
