why im i the only drunk person in the library?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
