Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
