butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
