My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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