roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
