I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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