I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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