He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How naked do you want me to be?
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