Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
