all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
