I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
