I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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