my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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