his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
