Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
