first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
