you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
