Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i think i just lost a toe
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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