Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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