considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
